Back to Oblivion

Back to my blog... feels like home again. Back to my shelter who always listens and comforts.

Love, is a difficult thing.

Now Home

Now I'm lying on my bed for the last night at home before leaving to SH. Here now, this house, is more like home than ever solely because of His grace. I still remember vaguely last year this time this house was still filled with mistrust, disbelief, unremitted quarrels and complaints. Sometimes in a state of desperation I am, sometimes self-reproaching...And clearly I remembered my pleading prayer to Him to save me out of this and salvation comes to this house.

 Now here I am again. Family worship was started for the first time in this house.I lead, WE sing. It started with one listener and once hit 4 at the highest which means all the members in this house had joined. It started in the 1st Sunday I came and kept its form even in the very 1st day of the lunar new year and till the last.

The night before the first Sunday I preached (I still would like to call it preach though it's the miniest in terms of scale), I was filled with nervousness and worries, for fear that my request to worship at home would be declined and my message would not be well-communicated. But it was so readily approved by the "royal hostess of the house"——“Ok, but please be quick, I can;t afford too much time.”I tried to set the Royal Lady down with my playing guitar. The music soothed us both. "一切歌颂赞美","云上太阳","恩友歌","主赐给我的恩典"....Praise the Lord for this wonderful time. Though she did not sing but she enjoyed listening. Then after a brief prayer, I started teaching the message. As soon as I spoke out, the Lord helped me with it. Hardly could I imagine that I would become so bold to speak out the truth of eternity. But I know it's not me but Him that did it. Yes, I am just the very vessel.

My heart was softened generally by His love and I find my strength in loving the families that love me so much,and also in keeping to pray for their health and salvation for all.Praise God for the service I could hold in my Grandma's, the first-time-ever I spoke this truth to them. Thank Lord for the wonderful moment that my grandma of mother's side prayed the prayer of inviting Him into her heart.

One whole month staying at home has eventually become a pleasure and enjoyment—— being served by the ones that love me so much and serving them by ministering their hearts. It starts with unwilling reluctant ritual by lulling but ends with natural habit to make up the time to worship. Believe in Him and you and all your household will be saved. These words have never be so true to me as now.

They are now the sheep I nurture in the sense of spirit, I told myself and Him with joy and excitement.This is my start of the mission, the long journey I have embarked on.

Thank you, Lord.

Thanks for the translation project, I found the book Ben-Hur by Lew Wallace, a great book written by a man of true faith. The same as Ben-Hur, changed and renewed are also me and my households, one and after another, they will be know Him fully.

Yes, Thank you for loving me so much. My heart will sing no other name but yours
——Jesus, Jesus......

2013 Valentine's Day

你爱我，这是你最大的魅力所在。
The fact that You love me is the best part of your charm that attracts me...

 

Now A New Star..t..!?!

Thanks to the new tech so finally I'm able to come back to Blogger. Thanks to Mr.X, who inspired me to set my mind to deal with this area that I know nothing about. Though it took me quite a while to figure it out and also I messed up the host by trusting some posts, I still made it to log in. Sometimes I'm quite proud of myself to be such a good learner and I'm trusting myself on my ability to get to know something if I'm well instructed. That can be an advantage in working and coping with things, but can be a fatal defect in dealing with relationship...Now you know who I refer to... Just a few days ago, I had a row with him over that business contract thing. I despised him for his inability to learn and to do any little things and he roared at me for my ill manner and "unreasonable demands." Finally he reconciled by trying but still not making any improvement and I reconciled by apologizing and doing all the work left. This is it. I realized that's what I'm gonna live with! If someone is not made to do something which means he has no gift in doing that, then I am the only one to make up for it, to weep, to struggle, to toil...——IF I DO NOT ALLOW GOD'S INTERFERENCE IN ALL THESE. Yes, we are too different to be together, as two individuals, as two selfish, proud individuals. That's why we need the Lord. So it's quite a blessing to have some time to weigh and think before moving to the next step. "Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him."...Thank you Lord. I hope I can wait and grow in love and patience.

The lecture on Art in Harvard from Rey

This is link of the lectuer

Miss Another Home...

It quite bothers me the log in problem since i came back from the States. The systems, the people and what the society is seeking... It seems the culture shock lasts far longer than the time I flew away from home. Miss the parents there even more~ I saw their faces in dreams....

I've promised myself to have that unforgettable and also unbeliebally miraculous experience written down into a book and have it as a testimony...but till now, nothing put down till my memory and thankfulness gradually fade away..

It should not be like that...
Several days I ago, to make a speech in the orentation of winter trimester, I went over the pictures and videoes I've taken during the past year...I miss them all...Chaemi, Seungwon, Yina, Hongmin,Kyong & Bobby, Timmy& Cherry...none of them less...
Though I am enjoying the unlimited tender care and love from my husband-to-be...

Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be afraid, for I am your God. This is the verse given to me by Kyong before I left...Yes, I should be cheerful and offer thankfulness all the time for Him who has offered me all these grace and experience...I love God and I should ask and complaint about nothing from now on...

The Awakening---speech contest script

Spring, it is the best time of the year. It is a season of sunshine and flowers and joy. After the longest winter I’ve ever had of my life, I finally see a tint of verdure popping out the ground. All the life here is enjoying the spring awakening. Time flies. It's time again to say goodbye.

Clearly I remember 9 months ago when I first stepped on this land, I stood in the crowd in the Minneapolis airport, excited to have breathed the first breath of fresh air of this country. “Welcome to Heaven.” I got the message from my friend. The scene had already been played in my dreams time and time again and the excitement overwhelmed all the fear. Here I am, America, a country that bears the name of freedom, advance and power.

Also I remember 8 months ago, for the first time I heard the serious argument about politics over the radio hot-line program. For the first time, I saw the Christian fellowship be part of the school activity so explicitly; for the first time I joined a church with over 100 people and for the first time I experienced a retreat of thousands of people shouting Jesus and Hallelujah. This is a country not afraid of speaking about politics, parties and God.

Then 4 months ago, standing in the crossroad of Time square, New York, I watched people passing by, with or without facial expression, some with the shining mink coat and some with dirty cloth that narrowly covered their body. I was shocked by my familiarity to this scene, as if I was standing on the street of Shanghai. Suddenly I was awakened from my dream: America is not heaven. I started to wonder: among them how many knows where they are from and where they are going? How many still hold a rest place of their spirit and soul? How many of them value the words carved on the money more than the money? And how many still have the courage and confidence declaring that “in God we trust” as they did hundreds years ago when this nation of power was established?

I was fully awakened from my dream: America is not heaven and no country on this earth can be heaven. As a result, between here and the place I come from there seems no difference to be excited about.

Just several hours ago, I rested my body on the sofa of the Williams Library with books on my lap. The sun comes out after a brief drizzle. The sky was dyed by the Great Creator. I know that’s the very thing I will definitely miss when I go back.

However, when I found myself more than reconciled to this placidity, I asked myself: If you can enjoy these beautiful painting everyday, are you still be touched by heart every time, standing in awe of the greatness of the creator? If you can see the Milky Way everyday, are you still moved to tears and gain more awe and gratefulness of the wonder and beauty of God? And you see recent catastrophe stoke again and again in other parts of the world, are you still be able to kneel down to pray for God’s mercy though it seem so far away from this peaceful place. If one of the answers to these questions could be no, I would rather go back and stay away from this beautiful home for me, in case the evil part of me turns a blind eye to all the things God has done. I’d rather be awakening, for it’s already spring.